CAT TALES – The Cats’ Resolutions – The Gadsden County Times

As much as I love my cats, I do not understand their language. Nurse Judy, my thinks she knows it all alter ego, claims she does. Since I have no way of verifying what she tells me, I have to believe her. This, then, is her version of the cats and their New Year’s resolution conversation.

Momau: “Have you made any resolutions for the new year?”

Beebe: (stretched out on the floor with his head resting on a pair of Judy’s shoes) “I don’t need to make any resolutions. Our Mama says I’m perfect just the way I am.”

Momau: She’s sweet. I’m sure she says the same about me.

Beebe: (sitting up and shaking his paw at Momau) No, she does not. I heard her tell her sister-in-law that she can’t understand how well-behaved I am and although she uses the same training methods on you, you continue to do naughty things.

Momau: I do not. I just don’t understand all these house rules. There were no such rules when I lived in the wild at Burger King. If I wanted to sharpen my claws on the nearest tree, I just did. Here she gets hysterical when I find a nice piece of furniture to use for this purpose. There are no trees in this house.

Beebe: (giggling) Yes there is. There’s the Christmas tree.

Momau; Well, I never touch that magical tree. I learned last year that Santa leaves gifts for good kitties under that tree. I love that tree.

Beebe: Mama said when she tells me ‘no’, I always stop whatever I was doing.

She says when she tells you ‘no’ it seems to mean ‘go’ to you and you just continue doing the bad thing faster and faster.

Momau: I just don’t understand house rules.

Beebe: There were rules in the wild. People chased you and were mean to you.

You seem to forget that.

Momau: That’s why I have to protect my freedom here. I can’t be bossed around too much. You’re just a big fat pushover. You’re a Mama’s boy and not a real natural feline like I am.

Beebe: (gets up and swats Momau) There. How do you like that?

Momau: (pounces on Beebe) Meow. Meow, Grrr. (the fur flies.)

Judy: Hey, stop that, bad cats, Why can’t you be nice like the little dog?

Beebe and Momau: The little dog? He’s the worst of all.

Momau: He stinks.

Beebe: He sometimes has accidents in the house.

Momau: He spills food on the floor.

Beebe: He always wants to be on someone’s lap.

Momau: He stinks.

Beebe and Momau: Let’s make a resolution to shape him up.

Momau: and I will try to understand ‘no.’

Beebe: And I will try not to just be a Mama’s boy.

Beebe and Momau: (curling up together) It’s good that we’ve made our resolutions.

Judy: Just look at those cats. Aren’t they sweet? I wonder what mischief they’re dreaming up.

More later, Judy and the cats - www.nursejudyinfo.com

CAT TALES – The Cats’ Resolutions

Gadsden County Times – Legals – 1/04

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