CAT TALES – Who Needs to Improve?

Now that the new year is here, I was hoping that the cats had made some resolutions.

Their behavior has become a little unruly and I felt sure they wanted to improve.

I tried to investigate the matter, but since they don’t speak my language, I had trouble finding anything out.

I turned to my boasting alter ego, Nurse Judy, who claims that she is a cat whisperer, and the cats can communicate through her.

I have never found much credibility in what she reports, but I decided that I’d give it another try.

I told her I would like to find out what Beebe and Mamou had vowed to improve about themselves in 2023.

She gave me a haughty look.

“It really is none of your business,” she said. “Those cats need a little privacy. You are always poking into their business.”

I felt bad that she wasn’t going to cooperate, but then I had a sly thought.

I knew just how to get her goat.

“That’s a pretty flimsy excuse, you’re giving me,” I said. “The truth of the matter is you can’t communicate with those cats any better than I can. You just made that up.”

It worked. I had her.

Her face got red and she began to stutter, “C-can too, c-can too.”

“Then you better prove it by getting me the information I need,”

Nurse Judy stomped off, and I didn’t hear from her for a couple of days.

She was sulky and stormy when I’d pass her around the house.

Finally, she clomped into my office carrying one sheet of paper in her hand.

“Yes?” I asked eagerly.

“The cats say they have no intention of changing anything about themselves. They feel they are incredible just the way they are.”

I want to tell her that I don’t believe her, but I look at the two cats laying on the couch, preening themselves and looking quite superior in their secret cat way.

I could almost believe that they might say something like that.

“So you’re not going to investigate further?” I ask.

“The cats have spoken. My job is done.”

“Oh no, it isn’t.” I retorted. “If those cats aren’t making resolutions, then I will make some for them and you, supposed cat whisperer, can communicate them to the cats.”

She looks annoyed, but I can see a tiny flicker of interest.

“What could you possibly resolve for those sweet cats?” she asks.

“Plenty,” I say. “Mamou has to stop scratching the furniture, climbing up the curtains, and leaving toys strewn all over for me to trip over and break my neck. She has gotten out of hand.”

“She’s just being playful,” Nurse Judy says with a rare show of kindness, “and what about Beebe? He doesn’t do that.”

“Beebe doesn’t do those things because he’s gotten too old and fat,” I say, “but he has other annoying habits.”

“Such as?”

“Beebe has to stop sleeping with me on the couch. He is huge and takes up a third of the space and the third is always in the middle. I am cramped, too hot from his heavy coat, and uncomfortable. If I try to move him, he gets snarly. He also has this bad habit of lying atop my feet whenever I sit down, and I’m pinned there, can’t move. Once when I tried to get up, he bit my toe. Those cats have got to improve.”

“I’ll tell them, but they won’t like it,” she said.

I guess she was right, if indeed she actually communicated with them, because I notice that now the cats spend most of their time on the screened in porch ignoring me.

I miss the hijinks of Mamou and the flopping lopping of Beebe.

I guess I need to make a new resolution to make up with and be a little more tolerant of my kitties.

Judy and the Cats

CAT TALES – Who Needs to Improve?

Letters to the Editor

Bo the Elephant celebrates his 36th birthday

Bo the Elephant celebrates his 36th birthday

Recommended

A love story across time that has its roots in Quincy

Should Havana council members be removed from office after committing a misdemeanor? – Town of Havana discusses updating charter language, overhauling town charter, after recent arrest of council member

Popular News

Public Notices

Public Notices

Meeting Notice

Public Notices

Public Notices

Newsletter

Category

Site Links

About Us

Welcome Back!

Create New Account!

Retrieve your password

Are you sure want to unlock this post?

Are you sure want to cancel subscription?

CAT TALES – Who Needs to Improve?

Support local journalism. Subscribe to The Gadsden County Times.

Subscribe

Letters to the Editor

Bo the Elephant celebrates his 36th birthday

Recommended

Popular News

Newsletter

Category

Site Links

About Us

Welcome Back!

Create New Account!

Retrieve your password

Are you sure want to unlock this post?

Are you sure want to cancel subscription?