Cat Tales – A Tale of Two Kitties

I have an alter ego named Nurse Judy, who I write about in the Havana Herald .

She thinks she’s a diva and is always spending my money on her fancy duds.

This gives me plenty of fodder for my weekly column called Nurse Judy’s Nook .

Nurse Judy, however, claims to have another talent.

She believes she’s a cat whisperer and is always telling me what my cats are thinking and planning. I don’t believe it for a minute, but I am passing on her latest cat interpretation to you.

You can make up your own minds on the veracity of her story.

It all started like this: “Did you know that Beebe and Momau have formed a book club?” Nurse Judy asks me one day.

“A book club?” I ask, rather astounded since neither cat has ever given the least indication that they had a proclivity for reading.

“Oh yes,” she says blithely. “They call it ‘The Kit Kat Klub’.”

I am horrified.

“That isn’t a proper name for a book club,” I say.

“Why not?” she asks.

“Well, it sounds like the name for a honky-tonk,” I tell her. “Book clubs are for serious people.”

“But they’re not people,” she persists. “They’re cats and they think it is a perfect name for their club.”

“Where do they meet?” I ask.

“In a catty-corner of the new workshop.”

This is beginning to sound ludicrous, but I persist.

“Who attends?” I ask

“Some neighborhood cats,” she says casually.

“I haven’t seen any strange cats around here.”

“Well, you know cats. They slink in and out. Besides, they all aren’t strange.”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you forget that two of Momau’s children live next door? The club gives her a chance to spend some quality time with them now that they have grown up.”

It is true that two of Momau’s kittens were adopted next door, but I’ve never seen them over here.

They were very shy, however, so maybe they sneak over and I am unaware of it.

Feeling like a complete idiot, I ask, “Well, what have they been reading?”

Nurse Judy has been waiting for this.

“Oh they are voracious readers,” she says. “They start off each meeting reading the latest Cat Tales by Judy Conlin. Then they roll around in The Gadsden County Times , getting more and more excited until they begin scratching and tearing the paper into tiny shreds which they scatter all over the workshop.”

“Oh, I’ve seen that mess,” I say. “I thought there must be mice.”

“Mice?” Nurse Judy chortles. “No mice would last around here.”

“When the cat’s away, the mice will play,” I mutter inanely, before getting back on track. “What else do they read?” I ask.

“They read a lot. They’ve finished The Cat of Monte Cristo , Finding Felix , and The Logbook of Hairballs . Cat a Nine Tails is scheduled for next month.”

This is too much.

“This is all your imagination,” I say. “Stop making things up.”

“I’m just telling you what the cats told me,” she says defensively

“I don’t believe you and my readers won’t believe you either.” I say.

Just then, Beebe flops on the couch where I had left my book Corporate Fat Cats open.

He takes his paw and flips the page.

Momau hops up beside him with my glasses case in her mouth.

I know this has to be a coincidence, but it is a little eerie.

More later, Judy and the cats

P.s.: If you know any book-loving cats, you might mention the Kit Kat Klub.

Judy Conlin

Cat Tales – A Tale of Two Kitties

Gadsden County Times – Legals – 11/3

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Cat Tales – A Tale of Two Kitties

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Gadsden County Times – Legals – 11/3

Christmas Elves Needed – Christmas Connection seeks volunteers, donors for making Christmas magic for local families

Christmas Elves Needed - Christmas Connection seeks volunteers, donors for making Christmas magic for local families

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