CAT TALES

My messy roommates

Judy Conlin

I am a neat freak. My motto is -a place for everything and everything in its place. Nurse Judy, my very scattered alter ego, does not believe in this motto so I spend a lot of time picking up after her. I have gotten used to finding her gowns, shoes, purses and wraps lying around and automatically restore them to their proper places. I have lived with her all my life and know her habits and have adjusted to them. The cats are a different story. I expect them to be neat. They are constantly washing their faces with their paws and cleaning their fur. They even groom each other from time to time. Apparently, cleanliness is next to godliness, but it is not next to neatness. My cats are messy. They have their own water fountain which automatically refills so they should have fresh clean water for days. It isn’t exactly working that way. For some reason they like to pat the water in the fountain bowl which dislodges bits of food, litter or what have you from their paws into their water supply which drives me crazy. They get clean bowls for their wet food each day as well as bowls of dry food and treats. It should always be a nice, neat feeding station. It isn’t. Kibbles and treats aren’t just for eating. They are for fun. They get thrown in the air, landing in the water fountain where they dissolve making the water murky. They chase them up and down the kitchen .They roll them under the refrigerator where I can’t reach them. In their eagerness to get to their wet food, they step in their bowls and track wet food on the floor which I often skid in. The mop is kept close for a reason. Any paper they can find is immediately shredded. It is economical not to have to buy a shredder. The problem is that it makes no difference to the cats what the paper is from. They will rip up the newspaper with stories about them even though I am trying to save those stories in case I find time to put them in a book. They have an all inclusive taste. They are as happy ripping up a piece of scrap paper as they are ripping up my nursing degree. My to do lists, bills, recipes and important phone numbers vanish, leaving behind only an unrecognizable mess. They care nothing for sentimentality. A Valentine or a sympathy card gets the same treatment as a meat wrapper. It does take them a little longer to tear up as they are of a thicker material. I’ve been able to rescue some of these although they are too far gone to put on display. Cardboard boxes are another favorite of theirs. For a while they will be cute and hide in them and jump out at one another, but when they grow tired of the game, they find the box is a wonderful scratching post. They’ll keep at it until the splinters of cardboard are scattered hither and yon. They are good at using their litter box, but they are avid coverers. They work hard at this task sending the litter flying out of the box and across the porch floor. If that isn’t bad enough, they then track through it spreading the joy around. I know you’re thinking that those cats are just being cats and having a good time, but when having a cluttered, messy house leaves you with a messy, cluttered headache you must pick up after them all the time. As much as I love these cats, I have to say, it is much easier picking up after Nurse Judy than trying to gather up the miniscule remains of the cats’ destructive processes. I am thinking about this as Nurse Judy waltzes by, dropping her wet towel, shower shoes, bodywash, washcloth and shampoo bottle at my feet. “Be sure to put everything where I can find it,” she says. She looks so nice and fresh in her pretty shorts and ruffled tee, while I am standing there all sweaty and stinky with a broom and dustpan in hand. I yell at her. I yell at the cats. They all look at me, yawn and go on their way. I begin picking up her things. I guess I am the designated fixer for these messy roommates of mine.

More later,

Tired and compulsive neatnik Judy

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Suber brothers named 2025 Agriculturalists of the Year

THE DIRT ROAD WONDER

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